“I Can Do It All.”
Mamas, why are we doing so much?
Our society has unbelievably high expectations for women, especially mothers these days. Between working, keeping fit and healthy, running a household, being a good wife, self-care, sleep, staying alive in our faith, we need to take care of other humans as well. Carry, birth, nurse, feed, teach, guide, console, entertain, advise, worry over, educate, medicate, pray for, and then at some point let go (but do we ever really let go?)
Between all of this, we don’t ask for help and when people offer to help we say “No, it’s okay. I’ve got this! I can do it all.”
We have so much that has to be done, actually HAS to be done otherwise we don’t have food on our table or clothes on our backs. But between all of those things, we take on tasks that are so unnecessary. A perfectly clean house to impress your mother-in-law. A beautiful spread of food every time you have guests. Attending events you hate going to just because others are doing it. Yet, we haven’t showered in three days and dry shampoo is no longer working.
Whoever it is that set the standard so high, I’d like to have a conversation with them. Give ‘em a big piece of my mind. In all reality, this stems from many things but overall – the evil one is trying to run us down. Let’s shield his opportunities.
“It takes a village to raise a child.”
We’ve heard it a million times. Over and over, but have we let this phrase sink in? This concept is more than true. Someone offers to take your kids so you can have a date night – TAKE THE OFFER. Your husband says he will wake up with the baby at night so you can get a full night’s rest, while it may be so hard, LET HIM. You have two events for your kids at once and can’t bring them to both at the same time, ask a friend or family member to help. What’s the worst that happens? They say no and maybe get a bit irritated and will get over it in five minutes. Who cares. On the other hand, so many people are more willing than we may think.
Be the village
Yes, we should embrace the village and love it for all it’s worth but we need to BE the village. Make a meal for the family bringing a new baby home and are adjusting to their new life. Take your sibling’s kids so they can have a break. Offer a ride to your kid’s teammate so their parents aren’t constantly running around. Offer advice to a fellow mother who is struggling with the rollercoaster that is teenage years. Most of all, PRAY for your village. You can find an amazing village here.
You will receive so many graces from our Lord for doing kind acts for others, and those good deeds are always returned in one way or another.
You won’t please everyone, so stop trying.
No matter what you do, there is always someone that will criticize. We may even be our own worst critic. “You need to stay home with your kids so that you can raise them instead of a daycare provider. You need to pay for all of your daughters’ wedding so that people can see that you are a supportive mother, even though you can’t afford it. You need to have your nails done, perfectly styled hair, and wear the latest trends.”
THESE ARE LIES. Lies that we believe and that we break our backs over. These are lies from the evil one trying to wear us down and leaving us feeling like we are never enough. So what do we do?
Cut out the unnecessary! Believe it or not, but you don’t need to have the perfect spread of food for a small friendly gathering. Throw out some chips and dip and call it good. Keep the kids in pajamas all day. Give yourself the night off by taking a long hot bath with a good book.
My perspective on reaching perfection completely changed once I read Grace Not Perfection by Emily Ley. She showed me that “perfect doesn’t equal worthy.” When I am overwhelmed with a never-ending task list to obtain the “image” of perfection – I repeat that phrase.
We have to let go of the standards of others and focus on the standards of Who matters. Our Lord loves us no matter what and these small things mean absolutely nothing to Him. Here is a guide to help you get centered on Him.
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Lean on Him and not on yourself.
During the times we are wearing thin, when we feel depleted and have nothing left to give, stop, and give it to God. Give yourself grace and thank Him for all you have and give Him your burdens. We live a life of labor and He never intended for us to take it all on our own. Seeing Jesus in all that we do will put everything in place, in a perspective that shows us exactly what is important in life.
*Lord, we ask that You help us to be like Mary when we need to work like Martha.*
-Luke 10