How to Instill Spiritual Wisdom without Pushing Your Daughter Away

My mother was a very faithful woman. She prayed often, brought me to church every Sunday and taught me a substantial amount about our religion.

Growing up, I believed in God, but I didn’t believe Him. 

Quite honestly, I feared Him. I believed he was a God of rules and if you were to make any mistake, you were to be cast to Hell for all eternity. 

I truly believe my mother was filled with the Holy Spirit and had an unceasing love for Christ, and in that regard, she was a great example. Yet somehow, what I heard as a child was “You must obey the ten commandments or you will not get to Heaven.” I can’t recall this ever coming out of my mother’s mouth but somehow this was my interpretation of God. This fear led me to believe that not only would God condemn me for my sins but so would my mother.

As I was consumed in fear, I went into hiding. I veiled my deepest desires, questions, and shortcomings from Mom. Looking back, if I was to go to her before she passed away, who knows what really would have happened, she probably would have taken me with open arms, draped me in love and gave all the right answers as mothers typically do. However, for me, there was a puzzle piece missing. While I memorized all my prayers, went to church on Sundays, understood God’s commandments, the most detrimental and beautiful piece was missing. 

His LOVE. His MERCY. His GOODNESS.

Later on, I had experienced Jesus in a real way. The Holy Spirit consumed me while I was at an overnight weekend retreat. I learned and felt His love and knew that it wasn’t black and white. He LOVES me, He really loves me. And I can do all things in Him.

Mom knew that. She loved Jesus and you could see that she felt loved by Him.

We teach our kids about our faith, the Bible and all the things in between – it’s easy to talk about what you are supposed to do and what you aren’t. But Mama’s, we need to teach our daughters about Jesus’ love and embrace their questions and concerns. We need to remember, they are human. They will make mistakes and fall away, just as we have and still do. 

So how do we instill spiritual wisdom without pushing our girls away:

1. Start young

Even in diapers, have them learn His name. Shower them with love and tell them about our Lord’s love. Pray that they will find Jesus young and that they will know His love. While they will not understand fully, we are planting a seed.

2. Pray together consistently- Lean on Him in all things

Every day on our way to school, we each take turns saying what it is we would like to pray for that day – one thing we want to thank God for and one thing that we would like some help with. During the hustle and bustle of the mornings, there are times I forget about this – but they remember! “Mama, we forgot to pray!” Oh, the joy I feel when my daughters remind ME to pray. 

The best advice my husband has ever given me in a time of worry and frustration, was in five simple words, “Did you pray about it?” 

What a simple yet freeing reminder, and something that our daughters can always remember if we remind them.

3. Don’t Pry

When someone pries you for information, shooting questions at you like gunfire, what is your first instinct? Shield them. Put up a wall and never let them through. Just because we are their mothers doesn’t mean our girls won’t do the same thing. Especially with adolescence, but really, at any age. Yes, of course, we want to know EVERY DETAIL of what is going on in their minds and hearts. Let us first let them know they can always come to us, no matter what it is. We are their safety, the person they turn to in trial and celebration. Let’s pray for understanding and to never turn to anger.

4. Be the Example

Who is someone that you’ve always admired? Likely someone who gave you good advice, but what is the real reason you admire them? Odds are, it’s because they practice what they preach. 

If we want our girls to have spiritual wisdom, we need to radiate that wisdom as best we can. Yes, we will fail, but in those moments that we fall, showing them that the Lord is the only way back up will be the best lesson of all!

A way to show our girls to lean on our Lord is simply by diving into His word daily. The One Year New Testament for Busy Moms is such an amazing tool to harness your faith and relate the Word to your life as a mother.

5. Pray for Her

My mother-in-law told me the most beautiful thing when I married her son. She said, “I’ve been praying for you since before you were even born.” 

How so unbelievably beautiful. Before she even knew me she prayed for her future daughter-in-law for her son. LET’S DO THIS MAMAS! 

Let’s pray for our girls that are here and now, that they will know and love God, be happy, healthy, and strong in all that they do. If it is their path, that they will find husbands that will love Jesus first, and help our girls get to heaven. Why stop there? Let’s pray for our future children, our grandchildren, their children, and all generations to come.

“You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it so that the Son can bring glory to the Father.”

– John 14:1